


Home for the Holidays

by sksNinja



Series: Couldn't Hate You If I Tried [6]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Established Relationship, Gen, M/M, Winter, doing cool things with knives, embarrassing family shenanigans, snow getting shoved in uncomfortable places
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 09:22:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5580085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sksNinja/pseuds/sksNinja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sanji gets invited to Zoro's family Christmas and is determined to make a good impression.  Zoro forgets to mention some rather important details.  Things go about as well as can be expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 7 Fox Hunt Road

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't quite make it by Christmas but at least I made it before the year's end! I have several more Mihawk-family ideas, so this bit will have 2-3 chapters, but I'm not setting any more deadlines for myself (sorry not sorry).
> 
> As always feedback is welcome!

Zoro shifted in the passenger's seat of Sanji’s dark blue Civic.  “You sure you don’t want me to drive for a while?” he asked as the snow continued to fall.

“Nah I’m fine.”  Sanji replied and turned down the defrost, the heater having finally warmed the vehicle.  His car was getting to be an old piece of shit, but dammit, it was _his_ old piece of shit.  “Do you even know how to drive stick?” he asked.

Zoro shrugged.

Sanji rolled his eyes.  “Well assuming you wouldn’t leave us stalled out in the cold, if you drove I doubt we’d make it before New Years.”  He said with a knowing smirk.

“Oh fuck off!”  Zoro grumbled.  “I know where we’re going!  It’s _my_ ****stupid father’s house.  I think I’d know where I grew up.”  Although he wouldn’t admit it, Zoro had no idea where they currently were.  There’d definitely been some road construction since he was here last, and the stupid snow made everything look the fucking same.

Sanji and Zoro had exchanged gifts (among other things) on Christmas Eve before spending Christmas Day at Zeff’s place with Sanji and what seemed like half of the restaurant's staff.  With so many chefs fighting to show off their skills, it was the most filling course of meals Zoro had ever experienced.  It had been nothing short of amazing.  Zoro hadn’t been sure if he should get anything for Sanji''s old man, but in the end he decided to get one of those make-your-own wine kits.

After complaints about his wrapping skills, and a rant from Zeff on how “You can’t just make wine in any old place!” the old man had cracked a smile, smacked Zoro on the back of the head, and muttered happily to himself as he dragged the kit to the kitchen.

Now a few days after Christmas proper, Sanji and Zoro were on their way celebrate the holidays with Zoro’s family.   Normally it was just Zoro, his sister Perona, and their father Mihawk.  Nothing fancy, just a quiet dinner, some painful small talk, and spending the weekend at home.

Sanji being there would be different.  The Mihawk family wasn’t one to bring in outsiders, but considering his father had actually recommended he bring Sanji?  And after Zoro had been welcomed so seamlessly into Sanji’s odd chef family?  He could hardly go alone now could he?

Still, Zoro wasn’t sure what to expect.  Sanji spoke of his meeting Zoro’s father sparingly, and from what he’d gathered it hadn’t gone that well.  So what was his father-?  Ah who cared, it really wasn't worth worrying about.  His old man was probably just bored.

Sanji’s phone GPS instructed a right turn and with it Zoro sat up straighter, finally recognizing where they were.

“Oh hey!  We’re almost there!”  Zoro pointed further to the right.  “Just a little further down the road and you’ll see the front gate.”

“Gate?” Sanji replied.  “We’re in the middle of nowhere, why would you need a gate?”

Zoro shrugged, “Fits with the theme I guess.  We normally leave it open.   It’s not like there's a fence going around the grounds anyways.”

Sanji cast a Zoro a curious look as he continued to drive.  A few moments later they pulled up to what was indeed a full gate.  With both doors resting open there was enough room for two cars to pass each other in the entryway.  Stone pillars framed the large black metal doors.  The piling snow lined the gate with a delicate beauty.  A large building loomed in the distance.

Sanji shifted the car into park, crossed his arms, and gave Zoro a scathing look.

“Sanji?  What are you-?  We’re not going to park here!”  Zoro gestured out the window.  “The fucking driveway is like half a mile long!”

“Yes yes,” Sanji responded dryly.  “Very funny.  Now where is your actual house?  What’s the address?  The GPS says we’re here but obviously we’re not.”  Sanji tapped on his phone to input the the new address.  He looked up at Zoro.  “Well?” Sanji said impatiently.

Zoro looked down the driveway.  He looked at Sanji.  He looked back outside.  Nope.  This was it.  They were here.  That was the line of trees where he learned how thin a branch has to be before it'll stop supporting your weight, and that pine needles aren’t so great at breaking falls.  Yeah, and over there was the big rock where he learned that sometimes movies lie and that your father’s swords aren’t stoneproof.  Zoro flinched at that memory.  No, even covered in snow, this was definitely the right place.

“No, this is it.  We’re here.”  Zoro gave Sanji a puzzled look.  “Just pull in and park wherever.  We can figure out garage space later.”  For some reason this seemed to rile up Sanji even more.

Sanji sighed.  “Look.  Just stop joking around and tell me where to go.  We’ve been driving for hours and want to get out of this fucking weather.”

“Okay?”  Zoro gestured with both hands.  “We’re here!”

“Zoro.”  Sanji’s eyes narrowed.  “I’m quite sure you don’t live in a fucking mansion.”

Zoro scowled slightly.  “It’s not really a… well I guess technically it-”  Zoro cut himself off, his eyebrows jumping into his hairline.  “Oh.  Oh shit, we never really talked about-”  Zoro stopped and turned to face Sanji, his expression uncertain.  “So uh, I’ve told you how my father collects ancient swords and stuff right?

Sanji nodded skeptically, and waited for Zoro to continue.

“Well,” Zoro rubbed the back of his head.  “He picked up the hobby as head of this national museum organization… thing.  He owns and manages a bunch of them actually.  It’s uh, pretty profitable I guess.”  

“Just what exactly are you saying Zoro?”  Sanji squinted, the pieces slowly fitting together.

“Uh,” Zoro hesitated.  “We’re kinda rich?”

Sanji gave the distant building a more serious look.  With a sigh of angry resignation he shifted gears and pulled inside.

The driveway widened into a brick patterned plaza of some sort.  A large but currently inactive fountain sat in the center.  A statue of a large bird, probably a falcon or a hawk, decorated the middle.  Sanji parked the car off to the side, turned off the ignition and gripped the wheel tightly.

Several minutes of silence passed.  While not the most patient of men, Zoro knew better than to interrupt whatever thoughts were running through Sanji’s head.

“So,” Sanji finally began.  “When were you planning on telling me about this?”

Zoro glanced up at the house… mansion… whatever.  “Uh, now I suppose.”  Zoro half shrugged his shoulder.  “Guess I didn’t really realized it hadn’t come up.”

“You-!”  Sanji stopped and sighed.  “This isn’t exactly a small thing Zoro.”  He looked up at the massive building in front of them.  “God it's fucking huge.”  Referring to the house or this grand realization Zoro didn’t know.  “Do the others know?” Sanji added in a small voice.

Zoro stopped to give it some thought.  He sighed.  “Well, Robin definitely knows, her being involved with the museum and all that.”  He paused.  “Actually that might be how we met her.  She was organizing this ‘lost history’ exhibit at the time.”

“Nami knows too," He continued.  "I don't know how she found out (the witch), but that’s one of the reasons why she’s always going on about all this money I supposively owe her.”

Sanji waited silently as Zoro went on.  “Luffy knows of course.  We’ve been friends since forever.  He’s even been here a few times when we were younger.  All that aside, Luffy’s dad knows mine somehow.”  He stopped to think,  “Actually, I don’t know what the hell that guy does.”

Zoro leaned back in thought, “Brook and Franky have actually been here too now that I think about it.” He frowned slightly. “Dad has business gatherings here from time to time (god I hate those things) and Brook's been among the musicians he's hired to entertain guests.  Franky’s been here to help build some odds and ends in this place.” Zoro smiled at the thought, “There’s actually this secret door in the lounge that leads to a wine cellar that I think you’d-”  With a glace at Sanji’s expression Zoro cleared his throat and continued.

“Um, Usopp probably knows.  Kaya’s family even more loaded than mine, and they fucking know everything about everyone.”  Zoro paused, “I guess that’s everyone.”

Sanji ran a hand through his hair, seemingly torn between irritation and disappointment.  “So you’re saying everyone knows.”  He gave Zoro a pointed look.  “Everyone but me.”

“You and Chopper I guess.  Well, unless Usopp’s told him.  You know how he likes to tell stories.”  Zoro added after a thought.

Sanji looked ready to scream.  Letting out a grumble of angry frustration, Sanji half kicked open the car door and slammed it behind him.  Trudging over to a nearby snowbank he began kicking and stomping the poor snow into a pile of mush.

Zoro stepped out of his side and around the front of the car as Sanji slipped on his own slush pile nearly falling on his ass, catching himself at the last second.  He turned to glare at Zoro.

“This is your fault!” Sanji shouted.

Zoro threw up his hands in exasperation, “What exactly is my fault?!  That I never brought up finances?!”  Zoro stomped over with a sneer in Sanji’s face.  “It’s not like this changes anything!”

The pair stared each other down, their foreheads nearly pressed against the other.  With a sharp scowl Sanji spun around Zoro and jabbed a heel into the back of Zoro’s knee.  With a yelp Zoro landed hard, his hands halfway in the snow pile.

Zoro scowled back at Sanji, dug into the snowbank, and lobbed an armful of snow at the flinching blonde, spraying wet mush across his face and jacket.

If Sanji was pissed before, now he was _fuming_.  Zoro could practically see steam radiating off his head as he wiped a hand across his dripping face.  Seeing trouble coming, Zoro scrambled to get to his feet.

No sooner had Zoro regained his footing when Sanji looped an ankle behind Zoro’s, lifted up, and effectively flipped Zoro backwards into the snow.

Landing hard on his back, Zoro managed to roll to the side before Sanji could bury his face in snow, although with the cold creeping down the back of his shirt it hardly mattered at this point.  

From his crouched position Zoro lept forward, wrapped his arms around Sanji’s waist, ground his boots best he could, and lifted the skinny blonde off the ground.  He tossed the bastard as far as he could into the snow covered front lawn.  

The fucking bastard landed on his feet.

Zoro charged forward once again.  One way or another he was going get him back.

Zoro swung an arm wide, meaning to clothesline Sanji backwards into the snow.  Instead Sanji took a single step back, pressed a palm against Zoro’s elbow, and effectively redirected his fist into the ground.

Taking advantage of Zoro’s bend form, Sanji used Zoro’s shoulder for leverage and flipped forward over the man to stand behind him.  Not to leave anything left unfinished, Sanji mule kicked Zoro’s ass giving him yet another taste of joys of winter.

Before Zoro could push up into a kneeling position, Sanji sat down on Zoro’s lower back locking his calves against Zoro’s upper arms to keep him pinned there.  Zoro managed to grab Sanji’s ankles but the awkward angle combined with the blonde’s freakish leg strength kept him being from able to pry the fucking bastard off of him.  Zoro bucked in an effort to get his legs under himself to stand or move or _something_ , but the slipping snow kept him from doing anything more than shove more snow down the front of his shirt.

After a few moments of futile struggling Zoro gave in.  He turned his head to the side though he couldn’t quite see Sanji’s face.

“Well, what?!” Zoro demanded.

Silence passed.

“What?!” Zoro asked again.  “Look, you’re upset!  I get that!  I normally don’t bring up family stuff at all ‘cause people get weird, but hell, you’ve fucking met my father!  You got invited to fucking Christmas!  Its not like I was trying to keep shit from you!  It just... didn’t come up I guess.”  He sighed.  “Can you just let me up?” Zoro finished lamely.

Sanji stood, lifting a leg to let Zoro to roll over.

“Look, Sanji I’m sorry you- oof!” Before Zoro managed to sit up, Sanji dropped his weight back down onto Zoro’s stomach.

“Nope, my turn,” Sanji said.  “You just stay there and listen.”  Sanji’s tone was serious but there was a twinkle of amusement in Sanji’s eyes.  Although unintentional, Zoro realized his losing the fight was probably for the best.

Sanji took a deep breath and looked down at the man beneath him.  “I swear, sometimes you feel like a complete stranger.  I know we’re not the best at communicating with each other,” Zoro scoffed slightly, Sanji ignored him.  “But this kinda shit needs to talked about.”

Sanji paused for a moment before continuing.  “Crap like this makes it feel like you don’t even think about me, like you don't care, and as much as it pains me to admit it, I’ve become rather attached to you.” Sanji made a point of not looking at Zoro.

Zoro stared up at Sanji.  Both of their faces were flushed, and only partially because of the cold.  Abruptly, Zoro sat up, sliding the slightly flustered Sanji into his lap.

“Hey.  Hey look at me,” Zoro grabbed Sanji’s face in his somewhat icy hands. “You,” he paused slightly. “You _are_ important to me.”

Zoro struggled to find the words.  “You have become such a vital part of my life I forget that we’ve been dating less than a year.”  Zoro slid his hands to rest on Sanji’s hips. “Sure we bicker and fight, but no one understands me like you do.  I’m lucky to have you.”  He pressed a kiss to Sanji's forehead, “There are times I swear you can read my mind.”  

Zoro smirked, “So the next time I forget to tell you about some private mansion in the woods call me out on it, kick my ass again, whatever.  We'll work it out.”

Despite himself, Sanji smiled. “Damn right I’ll kick your ass.  What do you say we head inside?  Your moss is looking a mite frosty.”

“Fucking please,” Zoro said, brushing the snow out of his hair.  “Half my ass is numb sitting in the goddamn snow like this.”

Sanji stood before helping Zoro up, and trudging back to the car. “So if you’re so fucking rich why do you always dress like such an idiot?” Sanji asked.

“Because fuck you, that’s why.  Besides, I’m not going to sit under my father's shadow forever.  I buy my own clothes, own my own house, make my own friends.”

“Wait,” Sanji paused while pulling a bag out of the trunk.  “You fucking _own_ your place?  As in it’s paid off and everything?”

“Uh, yeah?” Zoro gave Sanji a questioning look. “Don’t you own yours?”

“Noooo,” Sanji drawled as though speaking to a child,  “Like everyone else in our fucking generation, I rent. ” Sanji began to look irritated again. “I pay my shitty uncle Iva an irritating amount of money each month to live in my shitty little house that’s not even close to where I work!  Sometime I wonder if I’m even saving money.  I swear that man purposely…”  Sanji glanced at Zoro and paled slightly.  “You’re never allowed to meet him by the way.” Sanji shook his head.  “I’d never live it down.”

Deciding to leave that mystery for another time, Zoro looked in the back seat to see if they’d missed anything.  He spotted a long skinny gift bag carefully decorated with ribbon.  “Oh hey,” Zoro called. “Don’t forget that wine you got for my dad.”

“Uhg, just leave it.”  Sanji slammed the trunk looking downcast.  “What’s the point?

“The point?”  Zoro shook his head and grabbed the bag.  “Sanji.  You’ve been bitching about this fucking bottle since November!”  He kicked the door closed to stare at his idiot of a boyfriend.  “About how it _had_ to be from such and such region of France, how the 2010 _really_ was quite a good year, and how your old man’s gonna hold this favor over your head for _forever_ for helping you find one at such a decent price.”  
  
Sanji looked particularly disgruntled, “It’s Domaines Barons de Rothschild Chateu Lafite, and it was only impressive until I learned of your fucking rich-ass legacy and your father’s goddamn secret wine cellar!”  He sighed forlornly.  “He probably has the ‘98.  I had some at a wedding once and…” He trailed off with a lofty expression.

Arms too full to smack Sanji, Zoro cleared his throat instead.  “He won’t fucking care.  Honestly, he’ll probably be happy to have someone to talk wine with.”  Zoro gave a dry laugh,  “He _loaths_ my taste in liquor.  I remember one time when I was 16 he caught me with a bottle of Fleischmann’s and he-”

“UUGH!” Sanji grimaced. “Why anyone would drink that plastic lighter fluid is beyond me.”  He looked over at the smiling Zoro.  “Why do I like you again?”

Zoro leaned over for a peck on the cheek,  “My charming personality I’m sure.”

The pair bickered warmly as they made their way to the front door.

Once properly inside, Zoro dropped his things off to the side.  “We should check to see where we should put our stuff.”  He shrugged out of his slightly dripping jacket.  “Perona’s always moving shit around so who knows which room we’re staying in.”  They began to make their way down the hall.

“Zoro,” a deep voice called calmly from an adjacent room.  Mihawk sat in a regal armchair facing the front window.  Through it they could see the snowy mess they’d made the front lawn.  Mihawk had likely seen the whole fight.  Zoro felt Sanji shift uncomfortably behind him.

Mihawk turned to face the pair, swirling a glass of some dark wine.  He raised an eyebrow.  “That was truly an embarrassing display.”  Sanji started to mutter some apology as Zoro spoke over him, both struggling to come up with some excuse when Mihawk held up a hand, silencing them.

Sanji froze as Mihawk tilted his head and looked him up and down.  “At least use your swords Zoro.”  He took a slow sip of the wine, looked at the glass, and set it down.  A slight smile creeping into his expression  “I’d say the boy can certainly take it.”


	2. Not in the House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A relaxing holiday with the Mihawk household. Zoro learns there is perhaps one instance in which blades and booze mix well together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey! I finished it! I've been working on and off on this chapter for a while, please enjoy!

“Quick!  Grab everything!”

Sanji paused in the act of unzipping his suitcase and stared at the unfamiliar pink-haired girl in the suddenly opened doorway.  Her pigtails bounced as she stomped a foot impatiently.

“Quit yer staring!” She grabbed Zoro’s dufflebag. “Help me move all this crap before he gets back from the bathroom!”

Sensing mischief, Sanji grabbed their things and followed the cute girl across the hall and down a few doors.

“Right then!  Just lay your stuff out like it was here the whole time.” She glanced down the hallway before closing the door.

“Zoro’s sister I take it?” Sanji asked.

“Yep!  I’m Perona, nice to meet you!”  She replied with a wave of her hand.  After a moment she added, “No, you know what?  I’m gonna watch the loser wander around in the hallway!”  With a spring in her step she strode out of the room closing the door behind her.

With a shrug, Sanji resumed unpacking.  This room was more or less the same as the previous.  He briefly wondered how many “guest bedrooms” there were in this fucking place.

Sanji looked up in surprise when Zoro returned after only a few minutes, “Hey, so we have a some time before dinner did you want-” Zoro was cut off as Perona slammed open the door and stomped into the room.

“Ahhg!” she shrieked.  “The _first_ room he tries!  The very first one!”  She stared exasperated at Sanji.  “Just _waltzes_ in here like he knows where he’s going.”  She threw herself into the armchair near the window and sighed dramatically.

“I- what?  What are you talking about?”  Zoro scowled at Perona with a glance at Sanji.

Sanji slowly realized what had happened.  The idiot came back from the bathroom and immediately went to the wrong room.  Had they not moved everything Zoro would have stumbled into an empty guest bedroom.  They’d tried to trick him into thinking he’d gotten lost in his own home.  Then the poor bastard went and got mixed up all on his own.  Sanji sputtered as he tried to hold back a snicker.

“And what’s your problem?” Zoro huffed at Sanji.

Sanji gave into laughter, holding his stomach as Zoro stomped over to glare at Perona.

She gave him a dull look.  “You’re _exhausting_ ,” she said.

* * *

  
  
Dinner was a standard affair.  The four enjoy a simple dinner of cornish hens with a side of roasted vegetables and some pleasant pecan pie for dessert.  The meal was apparently prepared by Mihawk himself.  Despite knowing that fact Sanji couldn’t quite picture the man doing something as mundane as cooking.  It was flattering in a way.  

He’d have to see if Zoro’s father would let him help next year.  Wait...next year?  Would that be too presumptuous?  Regardless, Sanji warmed at the thought.

After dinner Sanji insisted on helping clean up.  He put away the leftovers, cleared away the dishes, and even went so far as to wash them by hand.

“We do have a dishwasher you know.”  Zoro commented after the others left the room.

“I see that, but they seldom do an adequate job.  Besides,”  Sanji tossed Zoro a drying cloth,  “It give us a chance to talk.”

Zoro caught the rag with an exaggerated huff.  “You realize drying dishes is the most useless thing ever, right?  They literally dry on their own.  What’s the point?”  Sanji gave a quiet smile and passed Zoro the first cleaned dish.  Zoro took it with a scoff and began to wipe.  

“What did you want to talk about anyways?” Zoro asked.

“I,” Sanji paused thoughtfully.  “I’m not really sure.  I mean, how am I doing?  Your sister likes me well enough,” as far as he could tell anyways. “But your father’s just so hard to read.”  Sanji continued onto the next dish.  “He accidentally saw our fight earlier, but it didn’t bother him?  I mean, he made that comment about the swords, but he didn’t say much of anything at dinner, and I can’t believe I missed a chance to cook for all of you, and really I-”

Zoro shoved Sanji’s shoulder with his own, “Calm down curly.  He’s always like that.  I told you he made sure you were invited, and I’m pretty sure watching you kick my ass made his Christmas.”

“Psht!” Sanji scoffed.  “Like _that’s_ hard.”

Zoro thwapped Sanji in the face with the increasingly damp drying cloth.  Sanji pulled his arms out of the dishwater with a handful of suds to retaliate, but before he could properly toss bubbles into mossy green hair Zoro shouted toward the hall.

“Hey Dad!” Sanji froze, eyes wide.  Zoro smiled.  “Sanji picked up some wine he thought you’d like.  He give it to you yet?”  Sanji’s gaze narrowed dangerously.

Mihawk’s voice called from a nearby room.  “No.”  There was a pause.  “That was unnecessary.  We do not often exchange gifts.”

A crestfallen look crossed Sanji’s face.

Zoro ignored it with an eye roll.  “Go get the stupid wine and give it to him,” he said softly.  “I’ll shove the rest of this crap in the dishwasher.  You know, like a normal human.”

Sanji muttered something along the lines of, “tactless barbarians” as he stalked off to fetch the gift.

* * *

 

Sanji stood stiffly as Mihawk examined the wine he'd been given.

The man turned the bottle over in his hands quietly.  Was quiet good?  Was it bad?  Sanji wasn’t sure.  He'd been so confident in his choice before.  His stomach churned uncomfortably.  No!  He shook his head.  This was ridiculous!  Why should he be nervous!?  He glanced up at Zoro.  

Zoro looked two parts bored, and one part smug asshole.  Sanji found himself grounded by the bastard’s nonchalant stupidity.

Sanji took a breath. “Well?” he found himself asking.  “May I assume you find it acceptable?”  He threw another glance at Zoro.  “I’m sure you realize your son had no part in its selection.”

Mihawk cracked a smile and almost scoffed.  “Yes, that is abundantly clear.”  He set the bottle to the side and gave Sanji an appraising look.  

“You have my thanks.  The gift is most appreciated.”  He nodded his head toward the bottle.  “Their 2010 is quite a good year.”

Zoro muffled a poorly hidden scoff.

“Oh shut up!”  Sanji sneered at him.  “We’ve already established your shit taste in everything.”  He raised his chin and dramatically pressed a palm to his own chest.  “Save your taste in men of course.”

“Ha!  I don’t know about _that_ _!_ ”  Perona’s head popped in from the hallway.  “You should have _seen_ some of the guys he-”

“PER-O-NA!”  Zoro howled and chased after her.  

The pink-haired girl shrieked and ran down the hall giggling.

Mihawk stared after them with a look of weary resignation.  Sanji found himself awkwardly alone with Zoro’s father.  Sanji cleared his throat after a few moments.

Mihawk stood wearily.  “Yes, you are a most welcome improvement.”   He sauntered over to the bookcase and slid aside a panel Sanji hadn’t noticed before.  A number pad laid underneath.  With a few pressed buttons and a slight whir, a number of thin poles slowly rose from the ground just to their left.

The poles formed a neat half circle and settled into place with a click.  A louder whirring was heard as the ground within the circle parted to reveal a spiral staircase leading down into a dark cellar of some sort.

Mihawk flipped a switch next to the control panel and the cellar lights clicked on.

Sanji leaned on a pole to look down curiously.  Zoro had mentioned that Franky had built some ridiculous secret rooms for them, but actually having a hidden wine cellar?

Sanji nearly jumped as Mihawk moved to stand next to him.  He had almost forgotten the man’s presence.

“As I said earlier,” Mihawk began.  “We are not one to exchange gifts.  However, your hospitality should be reciprocated.”  
  
Sanji waved his hands in front of himself, “No no that’s not-"  
  
“Nonsense.”  Mihawk interrupted somewhat tersely.  “I insist.”  He gestured to the cellar.  “Below you will find many fine wines and spirits.  Please choose one for yourself.”  With a nod and a smile, Mihawk returned to his chair, picked up his book, and left Sanji to make his decision.

Sanji looked down into the cellar with growing anticipation.  Well, it _would_ be rude to turn down such a generous offer wouldn’t it?  After a few tentative steps down the stairs Zoro burst back into the room.

The moss-head panted heavily as he whipped his head around, most likely looking for Perona.  One of the pink bow clips in his hair fell to the ground and he glared at it with a fierce intensity.  

With a frustrated growl he scrambled his hands through his hair to pull out the remaining hair clips.  He stomped on one in a childish fashion.  He was missing one of his shoes.  

Sanji felt a wave of gratitude at being raised as an only child.

Zoro trudged over to lean close in Sanji’s face.  “Not. A. Word.”

Sanji raised his hands in surrender and stifled a smile.  He wasn’t about to mention the sparkly glitter still stuck along Zoro’s hairline.

Instead Sanji gestured below.  “It seems I may pick a bottle of my choosing.  Care to join me?”

Zoro crossed his arms, and huffed.  “Sure I guess.”

Together, the pair descended downstairs.

* * *

 

Zoro watched as Sanji dashed about like a kid in a candy store.  He’d stop to examine a bottle, ramble off some nonsense about its heritage or something, and then run off to the next shelf.  He smiled at the idiot.  It was good to finally see him loosen up.

“Ugh!  And _look_!” Sanji exclaimed exasperatedly.  “He has the Lafite Rothschild from ‘05!  It’s _easily_ three times more valuable than the 2010 I got him.”

A few steps further and he froze.  Sanji slowly pulled a bottle from its rack.  “Zoro...” he muttered.  “This is...” he turned to face him.  “This is a 1982 Petrus.”  He held the bottle protectively.  “I give up.  I mean...” He stopped and shook his head.  

Sanji’s voice dropped to a whisper, “This is worth more than my car was five years ago...”

Zoro smirked.  “That your choice then?”

“What!?”  Sanji yelped.  “No!”  He looked scandalized.  “I shouldn’t even be holding it!”  He cautiously slid it back in it’s place.  

“I think I’ll grab one of the champagnes.”  Sanji commented once the bottle was safely back in it's place.  “You know I’m a slut for a good sparkling wine.”  He said with a wave of his hand.

Zoro barked a laugh.  “So you admit to being a massive pervert then?”

“No!” Sanji groaned.  “I-”  he sighed.  “You know what I mean.”

Zoro did.  He took pride in that fact.

“Besides,” Sanji added.  “There’s a neat trick with champagne I think you’ll like.”

* * *

 

Mihawk examined the bottle Sanji had chosen.  Perona sat nearby painting her toenails black.  Zoro had been sent to find an ice pail.

Sanji’s choice was a 2002 Bollinger R.D.  Full bodied and well balanced, with a pleasantly bitter finish; a fine brut champagne.  He passed the bottle back to the boy.

“An agreeable choice,” he said with a nod.  Sanji beamed.

“Well worth it’s value.”  Mihawk continued.  “Still, I’m surprised you did not pick one more elaborate.”  If memory served, it was only worth a few hundred dollars.

“Ha!” Zoro laughed, having finally returned with a small pail of ice.  “You should have seen him down there.”  He lightly elbowed Sanji.  “Running around like that.  I thought you’d never make a choice.”

“Well excuse me for admiring the collection!”  Sanji snatched the ice from Zoro.  “We’re not all savages you know.”

He slid the bottle into the ice.  “And I wanted something we could drink now.”  He paused and slid a glance toward Zoro.  “Well something _I_ could drink anyways.  I doubt you would appreciate it’s nuance.”

The pair began to bicker, clearly having forgotten Mihawk’s presence.  He clasped his hands and smiled.  How very entertaining.  He turned to his daughter across the room as she fanned the paint on her toes.  He quirked an eyebrow.

Perona met his gaze and rolled her eyes dramatically.  ‘So not cute.’  She mouthed.    

“So,”  Mihawk interrupted once the pair began to shove each other with knees and elbows.  “What varieties piqued your interest?”

“Ha,”  Sanji laughed shortly.  “All of them?  I don’t know that anything in that cellar could be considered standard.”  He brushed a hand through his hair.  “I can’t believe you have that Petrus.  Something that exceptional wouldn’t be worth opening for anything less than someone earning their doctorate, or perhaps an impressively elaborate wedding.”

Sanji missed the gleam in Mihawk’s eye.

Instead the blonde curiously turned his champagne bottle upside-down in the ice.

“Actually,” the Sanji started, “I was wondering if you would mind if I sabered the champagne?”  He nodded toward Zoro.  “I figured that might interest the brute.”

Mihawk looked between the hopeful blonde and his currently confused son.  “I assume you know how to do it properly?”  Mihawk asked.

“Of course!”  Sanji exclaimed.

Mihawk considered the idiotic pair.  They were both strong, clever, determined individuals.  They were also massive idiots.  He was glad for them.

Mihawk shrugged slightly.  “Very well,” he gave them a pointed look, “but not in the house.”

* * *

 

“Alright, we’re outside.  Now what?”  Zoro still didn’t know what Sanji had planned.  They were going to saber something?  He knew a saber was type of curved cavalry sword, but what did that have to do with the thick kitchen knife Sanji currently held?  

Sanji had grabbed a hand towel, a couple of glasses, and the knife on their way to the back patio.  What was the love-cook thinking?  As he'd been lectured before, drinking and sharp objects really weren’t the best combination.   

Perona had followed them out of curiosity, but a look and and shrug from her showed she didn’t know what to expect either.

“Alright!”  Sanji turned to face them with a flourish.  “Neither of you have seen champagne sabering then?”  The pair shook their heads.  “Fantastic!” he smiled.

Sanji sat the ice bucket and knife on the deck and passed the glasses for Zoro to hold.  He then pulled the upside down bottle from the bucket and began to work the foil off the top.

“Okay, so champange is under pressure right?”  Sanji continued to speak without waiting for a response.  “So you’re not cutting the glass so much as you are exploiting a fault in the bottle from when it was formed.”  

With the foil peeled away, Sanji began to untwist the wire basket off of the cork.  “It is important for the glass to be cold and to commit to the slice.”  He set the removed wire and foil to the side and picked up the knife.

“It is also important to know what you’re doing, and even then, you still have to be careful.”  Sanji gestured to the cork with the knife.  “Never point an unbound bottle at anyone.  Even if you’re not sabering it.  There really is quite a lot of pressure.”   He made a show of purposely angling the bottle away from them.

“Done incorrectly you can cause a bad break that results in broken glass flying everywhere.  In your drink, in your face, you get the idea.”  Sanji smirked at Perona’s nervous look.

“Fortunately,” Sanji bragged, “I am a professional.”

Zoro shifted his weight while holding the glasses, growing impatient.  “You keep talking.  You actually gonna do anything?”

“Patience my little moss-ball,”  Sanji cooed.  Perona snickered.  Zoro kicked at her stupid pink snow-boots.  The blonde ignored them both.

Sanji turned to look at Zoro, a predatory gleam in his eye.  “I think you’ll like this part.”

Sanji laid the hand towel across his palm and held the bottle with his fingers on bottom and his thumb against the base.  He held the knife in his other hand, gripping near the base of the blade.  Flat edge against the glass.

Sanji examined the bottle for a moment and turned to the side.  He gave a final glance to Zoro.

There was the scrape of metal on glass, accompanied by a loud crack that startled Zoro and Perona enough to jump.  

Zoro hadn’t even seen him move.  One second Sanji stood there smugly, blue eye twinkling.  The next, Sanji’s arm was extended, knife in hand, and the top of the bottle was simply gone.  Bubbling foam burst from the open end and the smell of champagne filled the night air.

Sanji smiled openly as he turned toward them, wiping the bottleneck with the hand towel.  “That was a good break.  We should find the cork.”  

Perona looked out across the snow to find it.

Zoro stared dumbstruck as Sanji poured the champagne into the two glasses and grabbed one for himself.  “Santé!”  he clinked their glasses and took a drink.  

Zoro nearly downed his share.  He was too lost in thought to even consider the flavor.  His eye was still drawn to the sharp break along the bottleneck.

Perona walked back to the pair with the cork held in her fingertips. “It went pretty far,” she commented.

“Oh thank you!”  Sanji replied, and set the bottle down on the deck.  He plucked the cork from Perona to admire it.  A neat line of green glass still wrapped around the middle of the cork.

Sanji whistled lowly. “Yeah, that’s a good break.  Might be one of the better one’s I’ve done.”  Zoro reached for the cork.  Sanji passed it over.  

Silently Zoro set down his glass, picked up the bottle and held the two together.  The cork had expanded once the pressure was released but the glass clearly showed a perfect fit.  Not a single missing shard.  Not a crack in sight.  It was perfect.

Zoro swallowed thickly.  He gave Sanji a heated look.

Puzzled, Perona looked between Zoro and Sanji.  Her her eyebrows scrunched in thought before raising in surprise.  

“Oh gross,” she gave Zoro a disgusted look.  “I’m going inside.”

“Hmm?” Sanji looked up at the retreating girl.  “I was going to offer her a taste, but that’s fine.”  He paused,  “Actually, is she old enough to drink yet?”

Zoro remained silent.  All he could think of was his own swords.  Not his father’s, but his.  Three blades he had sought out and earned the right to own, to wield.  True weapons of which he was fiercely protective.

Eyes closed, he thought of Sanji’s long fingers wrapping around the hilt.  Of Sanji making that perfect cut.  Of Sanji.  Zoro gave a choked whimper.

“Oi,” Sanji reached for the bottle.  “Anyone in there?” He refilled his glass and gave Zoro a concerned look.

Sanji had no idea what he’d done, and Zoro didn’t know how to explain it.  He didn’t know to explain how fucking turned on he was right now.  So he didn’t.

Dropping the cork into the snow, Zoro grasped both sides of Sanji’s face and mashed his lips against his.

Sanji’s mouth opened in surprise and Zoro took advantage of the chance to slide his tongue over the blondes.  The bitter citrus taste of champagne filled his mouth.  

Zoro decided that there was no better way to taste anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wraps up this series (for a while anyways)! I have several new story ideas to work on. I hope you've enjoyed the read!
> 
> Also! Sabering champagne is super fun and makes you look impressive but it really is dangerous. Yes I've done it before but I've also experienced when one breaks badly (fortunately no one was seriously hurt). Be careful out there friends!
> 
> Special thanks to velolciraptor again for offering wine/champagne advice, and for teaching me how to play with bottles and knives in the first place.

**Author's Note:**

> If you google search "7 Fox Hunt Road" you'll find the mansion I used for reference.
> 
> Special thanks to velolciraptor for their plethora of wine knowledge and being irl Sanji in general.


End file.
